We've been in this class for a week, and throughout the week when we'd present our writing, i noticed how most females in the class seemed to be hurt by a male in their past. so here's my opinion bout it...(PLZ FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON IT, ID DEFINATLEY LOVE TO HEAR ( OR RATHER READ) YOUR INPUT.
Many of us often listen to friends (especially females) who complain, are unhappy, or who have been hurt in a past relationship. Now i must first apologize to those who have been in these situations, especially because of the fact that i myself haven't been a victim of your past. I feel great sympathy for all you brave females (and possibly you few males) who open up about your past, especially when its an unfortunate event. It does take much courage to allow yourself to open and express yourself...so props to you!!!
However the question i ask the females who complain or are unhappy in their relationship is why deal with it? Why deal or continue to put up with a relationship you often complain about, especially if it brings much pain to yourself? Why not protect yourself and remove yourself from the situation? I listen to those of you who seem to hold anger and bitterness towards a male who has hurt you. But instead of creating these harsh feelings towards him, why not look at this situation as a lesson learned? KEEP IN MIND THAT YOUR ONLY A TEENAGER-- YOU LIFE ISNT OVER BECAUSE OF A STUPID GUY NOR IS IT DESTROYED. YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO FIND "THE ONE"...SO DON'T SWEAT OVER IT! Again i apologize if it sounds harsh, but instead of looking down at the event, realize that you can definatley grow off of it and thrive for a better future for yourself. Yes you've experienced a broken heart, but look at the glass half full--you now know wat you dont want in a male. With this view, you only refine the characteristics you look for in a partner and next time it'll be a step higher. Let's not forget the absolute fact that although you may be hurt from this battle wound to the heart, it only makes you a stronger females (which by the way, im sure guys definatley look for in any female).
Yes some of you may attack me with my own words that "i havent experienced this unfortunate event" so how would i know right? We'll I'd like to let you know that i don't falsely believe my relationship is perfect, that i am a character in a fantasy story with a happpy ending. Although i do enjoy writing about event with my boyfriend of two years (which i guess to most of you guys is eternity), i tend to be a realist about our relationship. I am not blinded with lust and a fanstay romance. I do live each moment however, so i am definately happy where im at. Just acknowledge the fact that i am one who takes a step back from the situation and see from ALL points of view. YOU SHOW TRY IT. Oddly i find myself being an advocate for females to be strong, especially when a male holds you down. However, most of my male friends can vouch for me when i admit that i can easily connect with a male on a friend level. So please don't think I'm ANTI-boys! tht'd actually be silly of you.
PLZ FEEL FREE TO COMMENT. =]
THNX!!!!!
---LEXIS
How could i be the first to comment this? well anyways i just want to say that i think you are right. But on the part where you need to just let go and move on. many of us have been hurt and you might think about that person all the time; but its just easier to let them go. What i dont want to happen by saying this is that its okay to just go out there and get in many many relationships. i am a ferm believer on trying to make a relationship last. i think when you make a relationship with someone its because you want to see if you could last a life time with them. i have some friends that plan out other relationships while in one and and it pisses me off. any ways ill end this with a good job on stating whats on your mind(:
ReplyDeletei definately agree with you bout how stupid it is when someone plans another relationship while with someone else...thts just shady and low. but thts where my comment comes in, "if your unhappy with you relationship tht much just end it" cuz instead your hurting someone else. and i agree wit u bout really tryin to make relationships last long (no relationship is perfect, we always have to fix and maintain it) but it just kinda bugs me when you hear all these females CONSTANTLY complainin bout how much they "hate em" or how much they hurt. if a current relationship is truly hurting you, to the point tht u hate em, then you need to get out. your only hurtin yourself and the pple who truly love you. my blog wasnt about leaving someone right off the bat if something doesnt seem right, my blog was bout leaving someone who gives you pain and stress AFTER YOU TRY WORKIN THINGS OUT.
ReplyDelete--lexis
I completely agree with you on this topic. I've been in a few relationships; one long and others... short. I can say that I've been deeply hurt and i'm sure that I've hurt some boys too. But even through everything and all the relationships I've learned stuff about both life and myself. I tend to over think EVERYTHING so after each failed relationship I try to figure out exactly what went wrong each time so I can learn for the future. I know I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, but then again no body's perfect and everybody makes mistakes. I'm currently single and I'm happy about it. Yea I see other couples kissing in the hall way but then i'll see couples arguing and breaking up. (I definitely don't miss that.) So basically what I'm trying to say is that I've learned from my mistakes and I hope that other girls will too and move on from the boys that hurt them.
ReplyDelete"Why deal or continue to put up with a relationship you often complain about, especially if it brings much pain to yourself? Why not protect yourself and remove yourself from the situation? "
ReplyDeleteHere's my answer: Because you have this crazy selfless premonition that all things are fixable.(Also known as the Xacheiree Idiocy Syndrome)
Most guys seem to be brick walls when it comes to emotion, which I believe to be good. Constant flow of emotion is like constant waves on a barrier. It will break, and the protected vicinity will flood. Flooding brings rich, fertalized dirt and causes a flourish in plant life, especially when used for irrigation (the Nile in Egypt). That can analogized (haha) to girls minds breaking beneath the barrier. When they break down their barrier and let emotion flood them, it helps them grow in the aftermath. They become "richer."
Guys, on the other hand, defend their hearts. To them, it is one of the few sanctuaries not penetrated by the outside world. They do not want that flood, because it causes what organization in our hearts to go POOF, and we have to rebuild with what's left.
Girls, when I guy lets you know his deepest most inner feelings, don't take it lightly. Especially when he's hurting. Never, EVER, tell a man he's stupid for his hurting. That's a quick way to lose friends.
I say this out of my own experience, as well from observing others. Disbelieve it if you wish; I don't have a problem with that. But this is how I see it, this is my "reality" on this situation.
Oh, and a side note, who are you to comment on what people should and shouldn't do with boys? It's not like you've had a whole ton of experience with that... ;) Lucky you. Many of us are jealous. I hope your relationship stays strong with Ryan, he's a good man.
ReplyDeletelol thts y i said tht i dont know how it feels to hurt...i havent been in an unfortunately event like tht. and thnx for tht...he is =]
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this blog! I've been single since freshman year and I was being insanely melodramatic about it. It was the slap in the face that I needed to snap out of it. I really do hope that something like this never happens to you. From what you've said in creative writing you and Ryan sound really happy... Kinda jealous lol, but I'm remembering your words. Somewhere there is someone who is meant for me. Your writing has reminded me to not give up :)
ReplyDelete